I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
