Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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