i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
