508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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