can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
