i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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