quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
