one might say we're banned from that church
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
This beer is not sobering me up at all
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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