i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize