I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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