Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
