if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
