Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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