I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
