That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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