ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Sext me about skeletons
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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