There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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