I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize