At least make sure they are 18
Why
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
