Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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