bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
