Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
