I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
