Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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