Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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