Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
