Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Welp...herpes.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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