He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
