I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I just gargled with NyQuil
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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