i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
