he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
