i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
