My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
