It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
