i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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