Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
