Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
