I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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