it's too hot outside to masturbate.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
