Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
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