I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
