Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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