maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
