Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
