a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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