my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
