I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
