Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
