I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Randomize