so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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