im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Text me some of your sweat
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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