I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
