They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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