You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize