The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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