Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
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