We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I just googled if crying burns calories
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
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