a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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