why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
