Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
