i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
it glows. i had to have it.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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