There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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