I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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