Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
