how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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