I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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