Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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