remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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